For a long time now I have had this burning desire to do something significant, anything! I don’t mean join a new group or help out with a charity (although these are awesome thing to do) but want to do something special, that celebrates what I am good at and also contributes to a type of career. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, and coming overseas to teach English was supposed to help me out with this. Instead of having some idea, I am still unsure about my place in the world while also beginning to panic that time is running out.
I guess this is what is known as a quarter life crisis, and it is not uncommon at all. But I feel like all this time is slipping away and I have no clue where I am headed.
I try to think about what I like, what goals I have, but I always seem to come up blank. I used to want to be an author, but I have no idea what to write about and no clue where to start. At times I want to open up some sort of bake shop in Korea, selling vegan baking. But again I don’t know how this would work out, I worry my baking is terrible and there is already an awesome online bake shop over at aliensdayout.com. Another dream of mine has been to make a series of small videos where I cook up some vegan eats for whoever wants to watch, but I feel like there are enough vegan blogs and videos out there.
I know this sounds like a lot of ‘buts’, and it is like I am making excuses. Right now I am just so unsure of myself and what to do that there seem to be all these ideas in the air but none that I think will stick. I know I don’t want to get married and have kids soon, and instead put the beginnings on a strong career. I just don’t know what this career is!
My life is pretty good and has changed a lot this year – I started zumba, a book club and working out more while making new friends and settling down in a foreign city. There is just this constant nagging feeling inside me which is filling me with dread and fear of the future.
I need to work through these issues by writing down some goals and thinking a few things out. For now though thank you so much for listening to this rant! I hope it hasn’t bored you, perhaps some of you guys feel the same? I would love some ideas on how you have worked through similar issues?