This is just me

Today, for the first time in eight years, I went outside and completed my day with no makeup on. Laugh if you must, but this took a lot of courage and I am sure that there are other women out there who can relate. You see I have been conditioned to think that I need makeup, that I don’t look beautiful without it and I am a face full of flaws. At the moment with the heat what it is I am starting to get frustrated with the amount of time and thought I spend on fixing my face. Each morning I lather my skin in primer, foundation and powder only to have it run down my face and smudge several times during the day so I am often checking my little mirror and having a touch up. It is annoying, and I am starting to wonder if putting all this product on my face is actually doing more harm then good.

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it looks good, but you don’t wanna know how long this took!

 

I don’t know where this mindset came from. My mother have never worn makeup in her life – not an exaggeration. Even when attending fancy events she doesn’t wear a lick of makeup, and you know what she looks beautiful and I have never thought that she would look better with a bit of a face on. Despite this upbringing, when I was 15 I purchased an eyeliner and some powder just because I thought I should wear it. I quickly became addicted to makeup and soon I was wearing foundation, mascara, the works to school every single day. Since then I have always headed out the door with a face full of makeup, I can honestly say that there hasn’t been a day that I didn’t wear makeup. Shamefully enough I ev dot on some eyeliner when I am home sick – that is embarrassing to admit.

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yup, even got my face all done up for the relaxing beach holiday. Who needs eyes like this to sit around and drink coconuts?

 

As I have been getting frustrated over my makeup ridden face I started to think back to why I started wearing makeup and I can honestly say that it came down to one thing – I thought I needed to. My friends bought foundation and wore it to school and that honestly was why I went out and bought it. I just assumed that all girls should wear it and I also enjoyed the whole getting pretty and being girly thing. Right now though it is a pain waking up and doing my face, it is annoying touching it up and thinking about how my makeup is going a bit greasy in the humidity. So, inspired by the naked face project, I am going makeup free for 2 weeks.

That may not seem like long, but I do feel naked and self-conscious without makeup on, for me this is a big deal. I have a few goals in this….

1)      See if not wearing foundation and powder improves my skin. I keep going on about the heat and it is really bad here, my pores and gross and my skin is super oily. I think that makeup is making this worse and want to see if it will clear up a little if I just leave things natural.

2)      Do people treat me differently? Korea is all about beauty and appearance (I will write a post about this for later in the week as it is a huge issue) and women are always immaculately put together. I want to see if this society will comment on my lack of makeup and treat me any differently for it.

3)      Find more worth in myself. I am so much more then the face that I show the world, I have awesome inner qualities which I should focus on rather than how well I apply liquid eyeliner.

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other then letting my hair dry, this is how I will be rocking today.

 

Finally I want to mention another deciding factor in this. I was wearing light purple eyeshadow one day with mascara and eyeliner, not too heavy but I suppose on my pale white foreign face it stood out. One of my students who is 8 and very cute turned to me and said ‘you look like a monster.’ Now once I got over the initial ‘ouch!’ I started to think about this, maybe I don’t look good with crap plastered on me, maybe people will think I look much healthier and prettier with just my natural face. When it comes down to it there is only one way to find out, it’s going to be an interesting week.

 

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